Sunday Check-in

Hello again!

I'd been hoping to post a review of a product on the weekends, starting this weekend. Alas, real life intervened. It's not that I've been busy; it's that these acne topicals are already sucking up all my enthusiasm.

Both of the prescriptions I'm on feel SO drying. The evening topical contains benzoyl peroxide, and at least feels like the familiar dryness of a spot treatment. But the morning topical is half alcohol; it feels and smells it. I've been applying them in a targeted manner. Though I was told to apply the morning topical all over my face, there's no way in hell I'll be doing that. My skin already feels much dryer than before. Now when I take off my makeup, my whole face just feel a little sting-y or burn-y from the dryness. It also feels like that for a while even after I put on my moisturizer.

Although some of the deeper spot seem to be diminishing, my chin looks like Flake City. Even my eyes feel dryer, though I don't get any of the topicals near them. Hopefully, when I go to the dermatologist in two weeks we can work something out that either dries me out less or better provides moisture for my skin.

I'm so tired of feeling this terrible about my skin. I look around at other people and wonder why they get to have clear faces, or how they managed to keep the zits at bay. Worse, I feel badly because I know there are people with far worse acne than mine and people with different and more serious skin issues altogether. It seems silly to care this much, but it really does affect the way I look at and feel about myself.

It's also incredibly discouraging to be told that a doctor specializing in skin doesn't care about your skin issues. You get told that doctors do their jobs because they care about helping others, and then you realize that that's not entirely true. I don't think I should have to worry if my skin is "bad enough" for someone to help me. For 10 years I've been trying over the counter methods and they haven't worked. Obviously I wanted to solve this problem myself, but I need help. I was hoping there would be people out there willing and eager to do so.

If anyone ever reads this, I apologize for venting and spreading my negativity into the world but also know that I am grateful for your ear. We all need someone to listen as we complain every now and again. <3