Sunday Check-in

Hello again!

I'd been hoping to post a review of a product on the weekends, starting this weekend. Alas, real life intervened. It's not that I've been busy; it's that these acne topicals are already sucking up all my enthusiasm.

Both of the prescriptions I'm on feel SO drying. The evening topical contains benzoyl peroxide, and at least feels like the familiar dryness of a spot treatment. But the morning topical is half alcohol; it feels and smells it. I've been applying them in a targeted manner. Though I was told to apply the morning topical all over my face, there's no way in hell I'll be doing that. My skin already feels much dryer than before. Now when I take off my makeup, my whole face just feel a little sting-y or burn-y from the dryness. It also feels like that for a while even after I put on my moisturizer.

Although some of the deeper spot seem to be diminishing, my chin looks like Flake City. Even my eyes feel dryer, though I don't get any of the topicals near them. Hopefully, when I go to the dermatologist in two weeks we can work something out that either dries me out less or better provides moisture for my skin.

I'm so tired of feeling this terrible about my skin. I look around at other people and wonder why they get to have clear faces, or how they managed to keep the zits at bay. Worse, I feel badly because I know there are people with far worse acne than mine and people with different and more serious skin issues altogether. It seems silly to care this much, but it really does affect the way I look at and feel about myself.

It's also incredibly discouraging to be told that a doctor specializing in skin doesn't care about your skin issues. You get told that doctors do their jobs because they care about helping others, and then you realize that that's not entirely true. I don't think I should have to worry if my skin is "bad enough" for someone to help me. For 10 years I've been trying over the counter methods and they haven't worked. Obviously I wanted to solve this problem myself, but I need help. I was hoping there would be people out there willing and eager to do so.

If anyone ever reads this, I apologize for venting and spreading my negativity into the world but also know that I am grateful for your ear. We all need someone to listen as we complain every now and again. <3

Day 1 on the Topicals!

Hi again!

I've now been on the topical prescriptions for one day. So drying! My dry patches on my acne seem worse, as expected. Also new acne is coming to a head, which is again expected.
I also called my doctor's office to complain about my crappy experience yesterday. She made me feel childish and small; she also explained that the insurance company wants to see topical prescription tried and failed before they'll let me see a specialist which is CRAP. My doctor didn't ask if I was even on  birth control, which can sometimes cause acne or make acne worse. Clearly I'm not getting the kind of attention to detail I need.
I'm including a picture of my first day/pre prescription face.

Unfortunately this picture was taken at night in front of my simplehuman mirror, which really isn't as great as natural daylight. But it's what I was able to do today!

I'd like you to know that I usually look nicer after I ~put my face on~ in the morning. I've also emailed the dermatologist's office directly to ask how bad my acne has to be for them to see me. If my insurance lets me self-refer, I am definitely making an appointment. Even if the derm agrees with the prescription the doctor gave me, hopefully they'll ask more questions and generally make me feel like they actually care about getting to know me and my skin.

To end this post on a better note, have a look at a makeup LOTD from Sunday, when I got matched at MAC for the first time. I'm wearing MAC Studio Fix Fluid in NC15 and Nars Velvet Matte Lip Pencil in Cruella. Have fun looking at my silly expression!